Making Friends

I've found a good way to make the TSA people at the airport smile and be friendly.

My wife spent a couple summers teaching intensive language courses at a university out east. For the 9 (?) week program, students are required to speak ONLY their target language, and have to sign a written agreement stating such. An interesting by-product of this process is the t-shirts that they create - some are for the overall program (for all of the languages), and some are specific to the language and level. I have one shirt from first year Japanese that has written on the back in Japanese "I only speak Japanese". Then beneath that in English, "If you can't read this, then you're probably not supposed to talk to us..." The shirt is somewhat bright green, and despite it being a gift from my wife, she is very adamantly opposed to me wearing it in public. Especially when we're in an area where there might be some native Japanese speakers.

So, back to making the TSA folks smile. When I flew home to Illinois yesterday I was wearing a t-shirt that says "No English Spoken Here" on the front, then on the back "But we do speak:" with all of the languages taught at the school written in the native characters beneath. The security checkpoint I went through yesterday just happens to be the same checkpoint for international departures. Two of the TSA officers smiled when they saw my shirt and asked "what does your shirt say?" (as if trying to test if I speak English). I responded and explained where the shirt was from, they explained how they thought it was humorous because many of the people they encounter day-to-day truly cannot speak English.

Next time I fly I think I'll wear that t-shirt. When the TSA officers ask what my shirt says, I'll look very confused and give them my best broken English while pointing to my shirt - "No speeku ingureshu!".